I am alive

I admire the heights achieved,
Stressed, but suddenly relieved
Strained , but somehow relaxed.
Recalling all the time I was boxed,
Trapped, caught, abused by hopes
Tied up by circumstances like ropes.
The maddening drive and senseless beliefs
Profiting only in sorrow and grief
Are all gone, all in the past
I have given up at last.
Trashed all my dreams,
Bought a shiny barcode.
Sold my rage, my love, my honor and code.
Enlisted in army of patiently climbing,
Ridiculously callous, all knowing, but not rhyming
Meticulously stumping on heads of the crowd,
Gray shadows with hungry smiles, tall and proud.
But then I reach the edge and drop
Away from shoulder pats, non-stop.
I crash, I burn,
I break all god damned bones.
I gather up myself like jigsaw puzzle
I stare straight at pointed muzzle
Of the skyscraper I will have to climb again
My lips, my nostrils, skin taste rain
A smile slowly lights up behind my eyes,
I am stressed, I am strained, I am alive!