Behind the glass

Behind the glass stained with my breath
I spy as she accepts his careful caress
As he leans into her warmth, a gentle kiss,
Their bodies intertwined in bliss.
Of love and passion,
I am their witness, in a fashion.
Perverted audience, a creep
As for their happiness I weep.
Behind a hair-thin transparent border
I feel no warmth, inside me - order,
But on the other side is chaos
So unattainable, unfair for us.
For me, for you as we trade glances
Filled with static forms and stances.
Pretense of love and stale legacy
This cold side of a glass I see
While sweet sweat comes in swells
Of heat from what has been and all is well
When I press my head against the coldness of the glass
Imagining, again, the past, the love, and us...

I am alive

I admire the heights achieved,
Stressed, but suddenly relieved
Strained , but somehow relaxed.
Recalling all the time I was boxed,
Trapped, caught, abused by hopes
Tied up by circumstances like ropes.
The maddening drive and senseless beliefs
Profiting only in sorrow and grief
Are all gone, all in the past
I have given up at last.
Trashed all my dreams,
Bought a shiny barcode.
Sold my rage, my love, my honor and code.
Enlisted in army of patiently climbing,
Ridiculously callous, all knowing, but not rhyming
Meticulously stumping on heads of the crowd,
Gray shadows with hungry smiles, tall and proud.
But then I reach the edge and drop
Away from shoulder pats, non-stop.
I crash, I burn,
I break all god damned bones.
I gather up myself like jigsaw puzzle
I stare straight at pointed muzzle
Of the skyscraper I will have to climb again
My lips, my nostrils, skin taste rain
A smile slowly lights up behind my eyes,
I am stressed, I am strained, I am alive!