I still breathe

Drip, splash, another drip
As silence at my ears rips,
As madness crawls within,
It smiles gently, droolling, thin.
I smile back, I laugh and cry
And then I simply fall and die.
Noone to see the endless fight,
The infinite and piercing scream,
And pain that I endure within.
Confused reality, abate!
I'm tired of this senless hate,
Depressing thoughts,
And no way out.
One step forward, million steps back,
I stress, I weep, get ruined by a heart attack!
I lift myself again, n-th time I try,
But then my time runs out
And again I die.
Drip, splash, another drip,
As birds my empty body rip,
Deaf to the madness,
Its coarse frown, clean white teeth.
In sadness I realize that I still breathe.

Beware

It is amusing,
Yes, I know!
Cnfusing even
To the point
Where all I feel is empty sorrow
And pain is also quick to join.
Absorbing their entrenching looks -
Demanding, daunting stares.
Despising absolutes I took
And given everyone to share.
So go to hell - the selfish fiends
Of my skewed, scorned creation,
Take what is left of my torn soul
And eat it till you are belching.
Damn you! I have no other words!
Begone and leave me brooding!
But if I am back another time,
Beware, 'cause I'm shooting!

Tired man

A gentle kiss of gun barrell -
Uselles attire, apparell,
Unfair, but achieving sense,
A consensus through innocence.
Tired man walks the plank,
Dies before the plunge, not a fake.
Not a hero, but betrothed to fate,
Craving wisdom, too late...
He's asking for sorrow and advice,
Caring for all of you - his only vice,
Loving another - the only sin,
Dyin alone - choice made on a whim!
A circumference of a cold imprint -
Gun, ready to discharge, primed to win.
A step that speaks beyond all words
As he holsters his dreams,
Steps into the cold...

Intercourse

We share nothing
But how come we live together?
It is fun to have a sexual intercourse,
A kiss, a hug, a smile of course.
Beyond those things there is abyss
Of everything that I will miss
In the other that I used to know,
Less lust, more love and sorrow,
And warmth, and intellect,
And.., but the rest I will neglect,
As you caressed me.
Ready, set and go!
We finish as one whole,
But love is here no more!

Fuck It

Tired,
Wearing attire of feelings,
Concealing anger
With fangs dripping heart ache.
But sometimes I feel like
Fuck It!
Drop the useless fake!
Danger
Of getting people
In trouble
Beyond their imagination.
Fuck It, because I am dying,
Wearing the same smile
Full of excuses.
A little comfort you've been abusing
To get yourself higher
At my steep expense.
Retired,
I am free now.
Dispensed,
Dislodged into shadows
Cast by greatness of others.
I am empty of worry,
Relieved of sarcasm,
Naked and breathing,
Still tired,
Not dying,
But trying...
Ah, Fuck It!